Excuses

I've realized that I've been making excuses not to blog lately. I want to make the next blog better than the last: more moving, more spiritual, more profound. I've been waiting around for something huge to just come smack me in the face, so I can write it for the whole world to read. The truth is, most of the things that make up who I am come through small situations or moments that may not be that memorable. So I've decided that I'm not going to put a quota on what my blog entails, if that means sharing something silly or stupid, I just may. :)

P.S. Thanks to Quinn Evans for encouraging me to blog more...Hopefully, this is a step in that direction.

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Transformed.

Today, there are over 27 million people in modern-day slavery across the world. You may think that it doesn't affect you and you have no part in it, but you do. Many companies and organizations use slaves in other countries to make their products. These products are shipped and sold in the US. By being informed, and buying Fair Trade products, you are supporting a slave free environment. Most of these people put to work are children. According to UNICEF, one in six children in the world (158 million total) is engaged in child labour. Not all of this is slave based, but appalling, nonetheless. Often times, these children, especially girls working as domestic servants are abused and sexually exploited. In India, girls are bought and forced to please men up to 40 times a day in the brothels. These statistics break my heart.

I don't share these statistics with you lightly. God has put such a passion in my heart for these people that seemingly have no hope. As a Christian, I am commanded to do something about this.

Deuteronomy 15:11: "There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land."

Psalm 82:3-4: "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked."

James 1: 27: "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you."

1 John 3:17-18: "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

God opened my eyes up to this tragedy in 10th grade, but I did not seek out opportunities to get involved. I became informed, which is necessary, but that was where my interest ended. Again and again, God's brought this issue in front of me, and I've just brushed it off. During the Passion 2010 conference, I was able to listen to Allison Townbridge from Not For Sale speak about opportunities and ways to get involved. I came back to Greensboro, and moved on with my life. I did not take the knowledge God had bestowed upon me and use it for something greater, until now. God again, burdened my heart for this cause. I'm choosing to no longer be stationary. God has opened up doors on UNCG's campus for a club to inform and allow people to get involved in abolishing modern-day slavery.

Earlier today, I met with Sandra Johnson from The Triad Ladder of Hope. It's taken a while for us to finally meet, but God's timing is always perfect. I was able to share with her what God had laid on my heart, and she shared with me what God was doing through The Triad Ladder of Hope. After hearing her stories, it is SO apparent that God is ACTIVELY moving and working through this organization. It was so encouraging.

Looking at what God's doing now, and how long I've postponed letting him use me, I can't help but chuckle. I have been so hardheaded and untrusting. But, I'm reminded over and over again that God is sovereign. Even when I'm stubborn, he's still in complete control.

I was reminded this again during small group tonight. We've been going through Ephesians, and tonight our focus was on Ephesians 2:11-22.

^"11Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called "uncircumcised" by those who call themselves "the circumcision" (that done in the body by the hands of men)— ¹²remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. ¹³But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.

¹⁴For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, ¹⁵by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, ¹⁶and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. ¹⁷He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. ¹⁸For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

¹⁹Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, ²⁰built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. ²¹In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. ²²And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit."

These verses are chocked full of wisdom and understanding. Let me just break down what God showed me through them tonight.

During the time this was written, the Jew and Gentile males were defined by their circumcision, or lack there of. The circumcision defined their identity. If they were a Jew and circumcised, they were in the law and part of God's chosen people. Ephesians was written by Paul, who was called to preach to the uncircumcised and share that the physical boundaries previously set by the law, were no longer applicable. Jesus had come to save all those which were lost, not just one group of people. Even today, the idea of the law is often integrated into our Christian beliefs. It's easy to get caught up in our checklist and guidelines. That's not what it's about anymore. Jesus came to cover our sins and to offer us hope, because without Christ, we are hopeless. According to verse 12, we "were separated from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world." God doesn't leave it there, but offers us a hope in verse 15, "by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations." Jesus died to "destroy the barrier." We no longer live by the law, but are defined by God's all encompassing grace.

Tonight, Forrest (one of the small group leaders), asked us how we thought God saw us and what he saw in us. This question really made me think. Humanly, I don't know what would entice someone to continually love like God loves us. He loved us so much that he sent his only Son to die, a tortured, painful death. Because of this sacrifice, he can now look on his followers and see Christ blood covering all our imperfections. We're no longer broken vessels, but we're whole because of Christ sacrifice!

In verse 19, it talks about no longer being foreigners because we are members of God's kingdom. It's amazing to know that I am a citizen in Christ eternal, royal kingdom! I might have days on Earth that suck and aren't everything I hoped they would be, but I can REJOICE, because this is not my home. While reading over this, God reminded me of Hebrews 11:13c, which says, "And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth." Right now, I am a stranger on this Earth. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." I am a citizen of God's kingdom, and it should change who I am. I shouldn't fit in. I don't want it to be a subtle difference either. I want the change to be noticeable. 1 Peter 4:12-16 says,

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name."

The change that Christ has made in my life should cause persecution and suffering in this life. My life should be so drastically different from those around me that they don't know how to respond. It's easy to sugar coat what we as Christians are called to do and be. I'm really good at just falling into the motions. Sure my Facebook religious views state that I'm a Christian, but would others know by my day to day actions? I desire for God to transform me to be a person that 100% of the time acts like an heir to His royal kingdom.

My life should be built around Christ being my cornerstone (Eph 2:20). Wikipedia defines a cornerstone as "the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation, important since all other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire structure." If my life's cornerstone is truly Christ, then everything I build on top of that has to align and fit perfectly onto the cornerstone. If it doesn't, my building won't stand. God is molding me to become "a holy temple in the Lord." I am placed here for a reason, to glorify God in all that I do. He should be protruding from me, in every aspect.

The body of Christ is crucial in this passage. Verse 19 says that as a Christian, we become, "fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's households." I've been abundantly blessed lately by an amazing body of Christ, surrounding, uplifting and encouraging me. Even though I may be an alien in this world, I'm not the only one. That thought is so comforting. I know that a lot of you reading this are probably those that God has directly placed in my life as fellow citizens. Even being on campus, and seeing a smile or being greeted by a hug by one of you can be so encouraging. It's a daily reminder that God is actively at work. He put me in Greensboro for a reason, and I am so thankful for that.

Guarding My Heart

Scenario: Titans vs. Giants; Giants have the ball. Adam Koets is playing as the Giants center (a pivotal point for the protection of the QB) and Eli Manning (Quarterback) is snapped the ball. The Titans are lined up against them, on their defensive A-game. Koets gets distracted for a moment by thoughts of the impending tackle from the Titans defensive. In that one moment, he's left vulnerable, and the Titans defense, trained specifically for that moment of weakness, moves in. They take down Koets, and move into attack Manning before he's able to get rid of the ball. After a few more plays, the ball is turned over to the Titans. Armed with an incredible offensive line and Quarterback, Vince Young. The Titans have no trouble overriding the flawed defense of the Giants. They go on to score, and ultimately win the game.

Compare this to what Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."

If you're having a hard time comparing them, let me help you out:

Above all else = Most importantly.
Guard (Defensive team/Center/Offensive Line) = "to keep safe from harm or danger; protect; watch over."
Heart (Quarterback) = "the vital center and source of one's being, emotions and sensabilities."
Wellspring (The football) = "a source of continual supply."
Life (Leading score) = "the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body."

Now, what does this mean in my life?

Let me just preface this statement by saying, I know, I've not only been there, but I'm just now recovering, and trying to get the 'ball' back.

God commands Christians to keep their guard up. You loose the ball when you let your guard down, and if you don't have the ball, you can't win the game. I realized that recently. I wanted to play the game of life without a play book and a trained defense.

I've learned that in order to keep your guard up, you have to meditate in God's word all the time. It has to be deliberate and disciplined. Like football, you can't go up against a professional team without training. You'd be crushed instantly. Satan is a professional at what he does. He, like the Titans defensive line, looks for our moments of weakness, and takes them. He won't pass them up because he feels sorry for us, or wants to give us a break. That's not his job. Earlier this year, I let my guard down, and I learned how quickly Satan moves in and captures the ball. The football was no longer in my hands, and I was just trying to get by. I settled.

God's plan never includes settling for less. When we settle for less, no one but Satan wins. God lays down guidelines for our protection, and by ignoring them, we open ourselves up for hurt. This hurt can become a habitual pattern, one often we think we can't get out of, don't want to get out of, or feel like we deserve. These are all Satan's tactics. Our wellspring is cut off, and we are no longer alive. We become blinded by our sin. But, God and his grace is so much greater than that.

Ephesians 2:1-5 says,
"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved."

God forgives because of his great love. He never desires his children to be separated from Him. He desires to be our guardian, and to protect us from Satan's tactics, that only leave us broken. I just think that's pretty incredible. :) Thank you, Jesus.

Showing weakness.

I'm realizing that you live and you learn. you move on. you adjust to change. and through all of it, you trust God. He knows whats in store for you... even if it's not what you want or think is best. Just check out Jeremiah 29: 11-13,

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

As much as I might try to plan out my life, it's not always going to happen the way I want it too. Take Andrew and I for example. Being a girl, I had it all planned out, I thought it would work. Turns out it didn't. Something that neither one of us could really do much about. Keeping up a relationship 8 hours away for the next four years wasn't going to happen.

I broke down a few days before we actually broke up, because I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I also knew God was telling me to give it up to Him and that it wasn't in His plans. I did NOT want to hear that. I held on to it as hard as I could. On Thursday night, my friend Colleen and Katie invited me to spend the night. So I did. And we just spent some time worshiping and reading God's word. Colleen kept pulling out all these verses that were SOOO appropriate... I was like, GOD WHY?! Why do you put all these people around me to remind me of your plan, and that what I want isn't your plan. I hate that.

So the next day, Andrew and I just talked about it and both agreed we couldn't do it. I didn't die. Yes, it hurt, and it was weird. It still is weird... but God's really given me a peace about the situation and knowing HE is in control. God is the master planner. He's my Heavenly Father. He knows my heart. He is the creator of love. Why even question Him?

Last night I get home and learn there had been a shooting right outside of my apartment building (literally about 200 feet from my door). A tad bit scary. Especially living by myself. Then I remembered what John Piper wrote in his book, Don't Waste Your Life. He states,

"Therefore risk is woven into the fabric of our finite lives. We cannot avoid risk even if we want to. Ignorance and uncertainty about tomorrow is our native air. All of our plans for tomorrow's activities can be shattered by a thousand unknowns whether we stay at home under the covers or ride the freeways. One of my aims is to explode the myth of safety and to somehow deliver you from the enchantment of security. Because it's a mirage. It 'doesn't exist. Every direction you turn there are unknowns and things beyond your control."

I had never thought about safety in this sense before I read this book. I had also never been in a situation where a shooting occurred near me. I think in Piper's book he was challenging people to not live lives in our comfort zones, but to leave our suburban, middle class neighborhoods and preach God's word in all situations. That certainly isn't why I decided to come to college in Greensboro, but it made me think about why I'm here. God has placed me outside of my safety mirage of Apex, NC for a reason. I have no reason to be scared here, because I am in the care of my heavenly father. The only truly safe place is in His hands (check out Ps. 91).

To sum it all up, I'm not comfortable here. God has placed me away from all of my best friends, not so that I'll be miserable, but so He can have all of me. He has put me in an unfamiliar environment that scares me so that I'll rely on Him. The end result: hopefully a life spent glorifying God.

Hebrews 12: 1-11

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Embracing Community

"And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." -Hebrews 10:25

Coming from a home where I'm surrounded by my strong Christian friends and family, and entering an unknown environment, seemingly void of Christian community is a terrible way to start college. My first week I was alone in an apartment, away from my comfort zone and the familiarity of home and all that goes along with it. I wasn't completely alone, I had friends up here from high school, but none that I knew well or were Christians that would support me. Although, it was only a week, felt extremely alone.

The past two weeks I've gotten involved with both Campus Crusade and Intervarsity. It's amazing how encouraging it is to be in fellowship with Christians after spent some time out of that environment. I'm in a small group with both organizations and am participating in intramurals for Crusade. I'm really excited about what God has in store for both of these organizations in my life and in others.

More importantly, is what God taught me yesterday. Sometimes, I hate being taught things, and lately has been proof of that. I wasn't listening to God. I wanted to be surrounded by people who would befriend me. I didn't want to be lonely or feel like an outcast. I really struggle with that. I'm used to having friends around me to keep me busy and to talk to and be social with, but I haven't really had the luxury of that here. I came home yesterday and God just broke me down.

"Why, Kelsey, have you been trying so hard to fill yourself with the things of this world and the people here? You want to be accepted and loved by those around you, but can't you see that I love you and I'm here for you all the time? Stop trying to fill yourself with friendships that will only distract you from me. I'll provide for you, when the time comes. Focus on me. Take a rest from your social life. Spend that time with me."

So I spent sometime in God's word yesterday, just reading and praying. It was awesome. God is awesome. So a large part of today, I've spent doing the same thing. I was reading in Psalms today and God showed me this verse (107:9) that really challenged me today:

"For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things."

It's not like now I'm going to become an anti-social college kid, but God's challenging me to not rely on friends to fill my void, but turn to Him instead. :) So that's just what I'm planning on doing.

College 101

I'm officially a college student. :) Pretty exciting, I must admit. Mom and dad came up to help me move in on Thursday and mom stayed until Saturday. After she left, I did some of my own shopping and my friend Tom came over to help me build my bed and entertainment stand. I also explored the campus, which came in handy today. 

Today was the first day for classes. I had one at 11 and another at 3:30. My eleven o'clock is Religions in America and last fifty minutes long. Monday and Wednesday's are normal large group sessions discussing the reading material, and Friday's are small group discussions (mine's at nine...which means I'm done for the week at 9:50 on Friday!!). The professor seems really interesting. He challenged us to know our facts and be able to back up what we say we believe. He also wants us to be able to see how different religions have shaped America into what it is today. It seems really interesting. I think I'll enjoy it a lot. 

My second class was Literature and the Arts. The professor went over the syllabus for the majority of class, but we had a short discussion towards the end of class about what art is. It seems like a very intriguing class, but it'll be challenging. I already have fifty pages to read and some questions to make out before class on Wednesday. The class is only Monday and Wednesday, but is from 3:30 - 4:45, so a bit longer than my first class of the day. 

My predetermined ideas of college classes and professor were reformed today, with a more positive outlook on them. I expected teachers to just come in, read the syllabus, give us notes and expect us to know everything we needed to know. In actuality, it was vastly different. The professors were both extremely helpful and interactive. They wanted to know our questions and concerns. Even in one of my classes with 85 students, it seemed like no more than 20 people. The discussions we had, which were both very subjective topics, were open to whatever views or ideas we had to say. There didn't seem to be a fixed right or wrong answer from the teacher. 

Today was also Fall Fest, which basically consisted of any organized club on campus coming out to promote with a booth on College Avenue. I got some information on a ton of Christian groups, as well as a club swimming and the rec center on campus. I'm excited to get involved in these organizations! :) 

Thanks for reading, I'll keep updating, but I've got homework tonight! :) 

Pre-College Jitters

I’ve looked forward to this time in my life since as far back as I can remember. College has always seemed so “dreamy.” The new found independence and ability to “find yourself” is right at the students fingertips, what kind of a teenager could ask for anything else?!

Now my time is here, I leave in less than 36 hours, and I’m kind of scared. I’m going to be by myself and be able to do whatever I want, but that’s one of the last things I want. Philippians 4:6-7 states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” God keeps reminding me that I have to place my anxiousness and worry at the foot of the cross, and He will willing replace that with His peace. 

It’s been an interesting journey getting to this point in my life, and God’s been teaching me the whole way to trust Him. But now, more than ever I’ve learned that I can’t do it on my own. He is sovereign. He sees the bigger pictures, and knows exactly where I’ll fit in. I’ve been reading John Piper’s, Don’t Waste Your Life, which mentions that we aren’t called to live safely and comfortably. We’re called to glorify HIM! That is my desire, that I complete my freshman year and can say, with confidence that I glorified God in all that I did. I understand I’m a human, and it’s not possible through my own strength to do that, but through the Holy Spirit, it can be done! 

I’m excited to see the unveiling of God’s plan in my life throughout this next year, and plan to keep this updated with what’s going on in my life!